Since I travel a bit I have a need to turn my actual programming off at one place and on at another. The actual process I've found doesn't take that long and two months ago the switch went like clockwork. The only thing consistent however in talking with DISH 'Customer Service' (I use the term loosely) is that they are completely inconsistent in their advice.
Let me give you my last four days, the short version:
1. I arrive in UT and call in to have my zip code changed and a new address given. All goes well, the young lady spoke English and I could understand and I thought I'd won the DISH lottery.
2. My DISH dish won't lock in on either of the two satellites my service uses. I call Tech Support. We go through the drill with an English speaking gentlemen, he is quite nice, I am led through steps I could now teach I have done this so much and ... nothing works. I am told that after the tests the two 'pointers' on my satellite dish are bad and need replaced. I say I doubt it since it works all the time. I hang up.
3. Day 3 arrives I finally call that evening, go through the exact same trouble shooting since of course it is on their computer screens they are reading from. We end at the exact same spot, I am not locked on a satellite and don't have service. However this time, after all the tests my crack representative that Charlie talks about in his nightly commercial says ... the problem is with your receiver - we will send you a new one. I said look this receiver is one year old, never gave me trouble - that is not it. I hang up.
4. Day Four, for reasons God may only know, my dish locked in on one of my satellites so we say what the hey - we'll go with it. We of course have to go through the entire debunking process once again which takes about 30 minutes. We download the programming and have everything but local channels. No problemo - I call DISH back and get a kind of English speaker who says it is not a problem and he works his magic on the computer and says, success! But I didn't have local channels or much patience with Charlie's crack support staff either. I called it a night.
5. Day Five has to be better, right? Not so my friends. I get an English speaker at least and of course he tells me, you're right, no problemo - not so. We go through the entire computer screen of prompts, and God forbid that you ask them to skip one because you have learned how to do it yourself the previous half dozen times ... no, no, each step and one half of an hour. The result ... no local programming. The problem - must be on your end he says, maybe a connection? Umm? I am viewing thirty of their package channels but my connection is preventing me from getting the locals. I hang up.
6. I am determined this time because I know in the end it is an easy problem if only I could get the right person I talked with last time a couple months back. I call right back and this time I get a barely English speaker who I can barely understand. It took my 15 minutes to just get him to understand I 'wanted' the local channels. He keep saying, "I unnerstan. You wan me to take off your other channels an just leave locals" NO. After we solved that we went through, yes, the full Monty of computer screens tests, 30 minutes and, well, same result. He says he is sure it is my receiver. I hang up.
7. Still Day 5 I call right back. I get an even worse English speaker than the last time. He insists I go through the tests. I do with my wife getting just a tad out of control in the background. We get the same result and he tells me it is my receiver and he will send me one. So I take the bait and I say well then send it, 'it won't cost anything will it?' He says, which was after every single question 'please let me check my resources' which I know to mean is another computer screen of prompts.
The bottom line is it will cost me $15 shipping which of course is a good deal on a $150 receiver, that is of course IF I NEEDED ONE. I knew it wasn't the receiver and told him so. Reading I am sure from a prompt - he tells me what I need is a service contract and then I wouldn't pay for the shipping ever again. I say, "Well, how much does that cost?" A mere $6 a month, You do the math. I tell him I want to talk to his Supervisor.
8. After a ten minute hold waiting for his Supervisor a nervous young lady got on the line and asked how she could help. I told her she was my 8th person to talk with on this simple problem. She spoke with an island accent but was understandable and polite, but not all that helpful. Yes you guessed it, for the 7th time I unplugged my receiver, rebooted, ran through all the test screens in spite of my pleas for my sanity. And in this process she happened to say, " Well I am looking at your account and the previous reps said you needed a receiver? I ended that and asked he 'what else might we try?'.
She wasn't sure but said, 'I am looking at your account now and it allows all local channels in Salt Lake where you are so I don't know why you aren't getting them, it must be your equipment. I explained that I've been watching their programming for three days with no locals - yada yada yada. Now keep in mind here on the ending, that part of all those tests I did is keyed on getting a satellite signal from a particular satellite in my case 119. Every rep knew that.
Drum roll please ... she says again, "Well I am looking at it right now and is it streaming down from 110 and ... " I interrupt with 'did you say 110" Well yessir. I said as calmly as I could ... "Don't you think that would be a problem since I am on 119?" She said that 'may be it'.
So I asked her if she might give me 15 minutes to site in 110 and call me back to make sure at this point that this 10 year plus customer had the service he contracted for. She kindly said she was not authorized to make outbound calls. I asked if I might call her directly since I had at least made it into management? She kindly replied that no, I could not call her directly but she would put a note in my account in case it didn't work. It was the same answer for email. No contact with the customers ...
Well, I hung up and pointed my DISH to satellite 110 and there they were all along, my elusive local channels. That led me to think ... maybe CEO Charlie Urgen should spend a tad more time in the office, ensuring that his Customer Service department is actually performing the way he is reporting on TV. Charlie, a little less camera time.
But now that I think about it ... our entire business world is on tilt.
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